You all probably have a lot of questions and in an ideal world I would be able to answer them all. However the risks involved in providing a ‘Q&A session’ before death is clearly too high as the medical profession always values ‘quantity of life’ over ‘quallity of life’. It appears that the prevailing ethos is to keep individuals in a state of continual suffering rather than allow an individual choose to die. Hence the huge resistance to euthanasia.
The reason for my death is simple. I have concluded that in the realm of dating and relationships the primary characteristics required for men are as follows.
- Height: above 5ft10
- Race: huge bias towards caucasian and black
- Wealth: or other manifestation of power
From my observations and research it appears that you need two of the three criteria for success with very few exceptions. What does this mean it means that it’s “game over” for me. By choosing to depart early, all I am doing is to accelerate the process of natural selection whilst saving myself a great deal of long term pain in the process.
The criteria of height is the major ‘deal-breaker’ which can be seen in numerous research studies. The race bias against Oriental (and Indian) men and towards Cauasasian males (and in many cases black) has been shown to be extremely large. The only people I see break the race bias do this through a combination of the other two criteria of wealth and height. Right now many of you are probably thinking… “Well I know one example which breaks that so you’re wrong”. Well if you met a Euromillions jackpot lottery winner so does that mean the probability of winning are not longer 1 in 116,531,800?
Think I’m wrong… here’s an experiment…
If you are confident that I am wrong do this one simple test. Every time you see an Oriental/Caucasian couple in your daily life, record how many times it has been an Oriental girl with a Caucasian male and how many times the role is reversed. If there is no bias (which I am constantly told) then I expect to see a 50/50 split of Caucasian Male/Oriental female couples verses Oriental Male/Caucasian female couples. I originally performed this test 5 times and found approximately a 95% skew of Caucasian Male with Oriental Female couple. I was told that this sample set was too small so I performed the same test over four to five years until I reached the sample size of 10,000 in total split into tranches of 100. Every time the answer effectively remained the same. All the samples lie between a 94% bias and a 100% bias. This is also clearly reflected in the study performed on the databases of OK Cupid Dating and Match.com dating agencies (sample size 10 millions new users).
OK Cupid & Match.com Database Study (Sample Size: 10 million)
“… women rating Oriental men […] is the worst category for both OK Cupid and Match”
Source: “Dataclysm: Who We Are – When We Think No-one is Looking” by Christian Rudder (founder of OKCupid and Harvard Mathematics Graduate)
But to those who have told me that my sample size of 100, then 500, then 10,000 were all too small I expect that the sample size of 10 million will still be considered too small… I have even been told “I don’t believe you because haven’t counted everyone in the World so you’re wrong”. In that case you have to dismiss every statistical study as no-one has performed a complete sample of the human population for anything. If you dismiss my findings on that basis you should not take any medication as that has also not been tested on the entire human population.
Interestingly I was then told “you’re clearly just looking for that result, you’re biased”. So I asked others to repeat the experiment. Several people promised to do this but many refused to tell me the answer. The few that did tell me that answer found similar results but they would say “it’s because it’s London, people are shallow in London”.
If you’re still not convinced, go to your Facebook friends and count how many Caucasian men there are with Oriental women and the reverse. I performed the same test on my universe of contacts on Facebook and again found a similar result (95%). I was then told that “Your friends are clearly racist”, but when I challenged people do to this with the sample set of their own Facebook friends one stormed off angry when we again found the same bias.
I have come to realise that people have a huge resistance to ideas and concepts which contradict their fundamental beliefs. This happens even in the face of overwhelming evidence from experimental results. The most well known current example is Darwin’s Theory of Evolution which still faces fierce opposition from some American religious groups because it violates a long term belief. I wrote to Michael Lewis of the school of Psychiatry at Cardiff University about this issue under a pseudonym about my findings. His response was as follows;
“…it seems that your problem is that you think data will always convince people. Science doesn’t always work like that. Yes, get your data out there with all the possible caveats about experiment bias etc. But don’t expect people to believe your interpretation of the data. You and I can see that there are gender asymmetries in dating and marriage patterns, respectively. It is not necessarily racist to see such patterns but it will be the case that some people will not like the fact that you are looking for them. If you do research on racially sensitive topics then you have to be prepared to be shouted down – even by people that you thought were rational.
“In short, the problem is not with your research methods or data but with your chosen method of dissemination.”
Michael Lewis – School of Psychiatry, Cardiff University
P.S. Ask your friends who stormed off why they think some people go to Asia for ‘mail order brides’ but very few people go to Africa for the same service. LISTEN to their hypothesis.”
In essence, no matter how much evidence I produce I am not going to convince many people because of the subject matter. I predict very few of you will actually read any of the academic papers or articles written on the issue but just in case you do see the quotes at the bottom of this page. If you are not scientifically inclined read the online article Race and Attraction, 2009 – 2014 it is NOT a scientific paper but it come to similar conclusions as less readable, but more rigorous studies
In conclusion, it appears that the scientific findings are often silenced because the general populous doesn’t want to hear it. I predict that these findings and all like it are doomed to be buried and consigned to oddities such as the study by UCLA which showed that women are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners during times of high fertility UNLESS their partners were very sexually attractive.
“We found that women were most attracted to men other than their primary partner when they were in the high fertility phase of the menstrual cycle”
– Dr. Martie Haselton (UCLA Los Angeles Center on Behavior, Culture, and Evolution)
“The exception was women who have very sexually attractive partners […] These women did not flirt with other men when they were at high fertility.”
– Dr Elizabeth Pillsworth, co-author of the study and an assistant professor of communication and psychology at UCLA
Finally if you think my actions are not rational, think about this… ladies who are you dating now? Do they fit at least 2 of the 3 outlined criteria? Who were you dating before that, do they fit the criteria?
To everyone who says “why don’t you just accept it”, I ask you this. What if your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband was taken away from you through no fault of your own? How would you feel? What if you were then told “it doesn’t matter, just learn to live with it”. Then what if you were told, “it’s your fault, it’s your personality that has caused that” and “stop being so negative”. How would you react. That’s what I’m faced with continuously. I can’t stop people lying to me for the rest of my life… but I can control how long my life will be and therefore how long I will have to suffer.
Goodbye, I wish you all the best
Wilkes McDermid, 03-Feb-2014
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Here are some common questions/statements which have come up frequently. Hopefully these will give you some insight into my reasoning – I have also schooled Kirk Davies (firstname.lastname@example.org) of my thought processes and logic behind my conclusions over the last few years. If you have any questions, direct them towards him. Note that he was not aware of my timing, manner or involved in the planning of my death to protect him from any legal repercussions.
- Aren’t you being selfish?
Amazingly all the arguments against my leaving seem to have the same structure
“I will miss you”
“What will I do when…[insert scenario here]”
“But you’ve done so much for me…”
Note how all those statements are worried about what everyone else will lose, not what I will gain. So tell me… who is being selfish?
- “But people care about you”
Yes I am grateful for that… but tell me, how does that help? If I was dying of thirst, no-one gave me water but ‘cared’ how does that benefit me?
- But “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”
Define temporary? Months, years, decades, 50 years, a lifetime? How do you know the problem is temporary? I don’t see this as a temporary problem. This is just Darwinism. Height, power/money and race seem to be the determining factors in human attractiveness for women. I’ve lived with this for all my life, I am 37 right now so should I just suffer for another 37 years?
- My boyfriend my be caucasian and over 5ft10 but he’s ginger… so you’re wrong…
Where have I ever mentioned ‘being ginger’ as one of the factors I have researched?
- My boyfriend my be caucasian and over 6ft2 but he’s overweight… so you’re wrong…
Where have I ever mentioned ‘being overweight’ as one of the factors I have researched?
- My boyfriend is Chinese so there, you’re wrong.
Yes your boyfriend is Chinese. He is also 6ft3 and a multi-millionaire. Read the criteria again. Race, height and wealth with the biggest deal-breaker of height. You’ve described someone who fits 2 of the 3 criteria as I’ve stipulated. The condition holds.
- “Stop being so negative”
Looking at experimental results I don’t see why this is negative. I’m just taking the most logical conclusion. Take emotion out of your assessment and tell me why I find the same answers over and over again, regardless of the area of London or country. Just because you “don’t like”the results, it doesn’t make it untrue.
- You’re talking shit, that’s simply not true
Really? Do this experiment, go to your own Facebook page, look at all the people you know. Count how of your friends are part of a couple of an Oriental girl with a Caucasian guy. Then count how many are the other way around. As I mentioned my obvservations show a 95% bias for Oriental Girls with Caucasian guys.
If you think that result is just co-incidence, perform the same experiment as you walk about in your daily life. If race doesn’t matter, then I would expect a 50/50 result. Ladies, look at your own dating history. I find that women who dispute my findings most strongly have a string of 5ft10+ Caucasian/Black boyfriends.
Interestingly enough the ones who are brave enough to admit that they will only date guys who fit the criteria tell me that they will rarely make that statement for fear or being labelled ‘shallow’. I learnt to watch what people do, unlike what they, actions rarely lie.
- You’re just picking out the people who confirm your beliefs (Stats talk, “You have confirmation bias”)
I asked others to perform the same experiment without me present… their answers confirm mine. Additionally, go to Nexus or any other academic paper repository. They will show a raft of papers which will confirm my experimental results.
Interestingly enough I have recently discovered that several people haven’t come back to me with their results. The reason given for one is that “It would hurt you”. That doesn’t hurt me, but lying to me does.
- OK – You only find those results because you’re in London (Soho/Mayfair…[insert any random geographical location]).
Well, although it’s by no means conclusive, I’ve done the same test here in Cape Town. Although I have not reached 100 yet, it’s 42-2 bias of Caucasian guys with Oriental girls as opposed to the other way around at the time of writing. That’s a 96% bias.
- Lots of people lead long fulfilling lives without a relationship.
I’m sure they do and if they’re really happy that’s good for them. All I am doing is accelerating Darwinsim. This is just natural selection. For example, the primary driver of height in female mate selection has resulted in the human race becoming taller (there are a lot of studies confirming this including a paper on Scandinavian countries).
- “I have a friend who is Oriental with a Caucasian girlfriend… so you’re wrong.”
I am not saying that it’s impossible, but the probability is extremely low. All the examples shown to me except ONE have the following criteria. The girl can’t do any better; the guy is above 5ft10 or rich, or both. Wealth overrides all the other criteria. The probability of winning the Euro-Millions lottery is 74 million to 1. So if you show me a lottery winner on the television news, is the 74 million to 1 figure now wrong?
- One of my female friends is white and really likes Oriental guys. So you’re clearly wrong.
So you’ve found ONE exception? Congratulations. In my ENTIRE LIFE I have also found one exception. A British born Finnish girl… who then married a 6ft6 Irish guy, divorced him and then told me “My friends always ask me why I go for Chinese guys and say they could never do it. Anyway, in my case I found that actually means Oriental, born in England and really tall”
- You are clearly mentally ill? Why don’t you go to a psychiatrist?
Amazingly someone told me that anyone who wants to die is “by definition” mentally ill. That implies that anyone is paraplegic and goes to Digitas to die is clearly mentally ill as well. If being mentally ill means that you won’t accept people lying to you, if it implies that you don’t want to live in pain for the rest of your life, then you’re absolutely right.
For those of you who don’t know, I did end up in The Priory Hospital in Roehampton where I met some awesome people (yes, some were famous). However I found that they were low on facts and relied heavily on emotional ‘one-liners’, not logic. It also seems to address the ‘symptoms’ of the issue, not the problem itself.
I was repeatedly told to “trust the process”, but no-one was willing to outline this mystical process. To me it was one step removed from a cult with pseudo science used to ‘persuade’ rather than educate. For one session at The Priory I was told to stare at an orange for an hour… Make your own conclusions on how effective that technique was…
Interestingly enough, I know of three relationships which started between Priory patients. Two involved a 5ft10+ Caucasian guy… and one with a guy who may have been 5ft8-9
- But you will burn in hell! Suicide is a sin! The afterlife is real!
I am not religious; they are your beliefs, not mine. On my side I have performed experiments and had them verified by my peers and carried out enough academic research to see that my results appear to be correct beyond reasonable doubt. I don’t believe things just because they are “in a book”.
- “Remember you always have a choice”
What kind of statement is that? I can reply to almost anything with that statement which doesn’t really mean anything. (“I like cake”… “Remember you always have a choice”.)
Yes, you are right. I have the choice to suffer for the rest of my life… or I can end the suffering. I have a choice.
- “So what? You might be right… be an exception!”
Gravity seems to work… so what… levitate, be an exception.
- “Suicide is the cowards way out”
Clearly you’ve never tried it… you stare straight down 500m of Table Mountain and tell me how ‘cowardly’ you have to be to make that jump. I have a new respect for abseilers and paragliders!
- “You’re clearly racist”
Race was only one of the criteria. Height and wealth (or power) are the other two. I am just presenting you with my findings. Interpret them how you wish. But I’ve heard “I will never date an Oriental guy” so many times (take note, this was never directed towards me). Interestingly enough I’ve heard that statement from multiple Oriental girls, what does that tell you?
If you wish to shoot the messenger that’s not my problem. I’m presenting you with findings, interpret them how you wish. Just like Darwin presenting his findings on the origin of species there is significant resistance due to political correctness.
- “You’re a Nazi. What you’re promoting is ‘Social Darwinism'”
I am presenting you with what I have found, not trying to encourage or push a behaviour or segregation. If you have an issue with what I have found then why don’t you explain the findings yourself.
- “The reason why you don’t find Oriental guys with Caucasian girls is cultural”
I’ve head this three times. Firstly, no-one seems to want to elaborate on what this statement actually means. It just seems like a coverall phrase. Secondly, none of these people seem to have asked the opinion of Oriental guys. I have asked 27 of them guys and only 2 have agreed with that statement.
- “Why don’t you just use a prostitute every few weeks?”
That doesn’t solve the problem.
- “So what would you tell someone else in the same position?”
They should make their own assessment of what they want to do, if they want to die, it’s their conclusion and it is their decision, not mine. But don’t try to lie to me to get me to change my mind. Quality of life is more important than quantity.
This note quoted below was written 2 years ago in South Africa. The contents of the original note do not need amending. At the time I foolishly didn’t have the strength to overcome the inbuilt survival mechanism to prevent self-terminanation. If you are reading this I have succeeded.
My name is Wilkes McDermid. To the surprise of many of you, I am exactly 37 years, 6 months and 25 days old at the time of publishing this entry on 05-Jan-2013… and this will be my last blog update.
I have decided to end my life. To all of you who have asked “When are you coming back from Cape Town”, the answer is never. I came to one of the most beautiful cities in the world to die. I had no intention of coming back to the UK.
This was supposed to happen on the 26th Dec, however the strong South Easterly Winds known locally as the “Cape Doctor”, heavy tourist demand for the cable car at Table Mountain, plus the foggy weather conditions of “The Table Cloth” all conspired against me for nearly 10 days.
The reasons for my decision are well known to some of you. I have found that in the dating/relationship game the key criteria are generally “height” ,”race” and “wealth/power”. Specially, above 5ft10, Caucasian/Black or with wealth/power able to compensate for a lack of the other two criteria.
Ladies, before you criticise me, think about your own situation. How many of you have husbands/boyfriends who fit the 5ft10+ Caucasian/Black criteria? Before you say “That’s just me”, think about your friends and who they are dating. Some of you will find one exception and are now saying that I’m wrong. That exception is one… out of how many?
Many of you won’t believe me, so before you dismiss what I’m saying, try this simple experiment. Go to Facebook and look at your friends list and ask yourself this question…
Of all your friends, how many are in a relationship of an Oriental female and a Caucasian male? How many are the other way around, (i.e. an Oriental male with a Caucasian female?) If I am wrong, and race and height don’t matter, I will expect to see a 50/50 split. However I discovered a huge bias.
So maybe you think your social group may be biased? So do the same experiment when you walk past couples in the street. I repeated this experiment counting to 100 samples FIVE TIMES while walking around London. I found the results to be 97-3, 97-3, 100-0. 95-5. 95-5. A huge bias for Oriental women with Caucasian guys.
Can’t find many Caucasian/Oriental mixed relationships amongst your friends? How many of your mixed race friends are the son or daughter of an Oriental/Caucasian couple? How many are a Caucasian father and Oriental mother… and how many are the other way around?
I asked others to do the same experiment just to eliminate “observer bias” (so I know that I am not selectively ignoring some people). They all found very similar numbers. I also recently found that several people performed the experiment but chose not to tell me their answers because “It would be hurtful”. That says a lot… people who rather lie to me than tell the truth.
I then looked in scientific research and found multiple papers which support my findings and NONE which contradict them.
Many thanks to the few friends (male AND female) who were brave enough to tell me their findings. Whether you like or dislike the facts or the implication is irrelevant. Surprisingly there are some very vociferous individuals who dispute the findings, yet they are unwilling to conduct the experiment themselves. From my point of view I’ve given up sharing the results with them. If someone was to present a paper or an experiment I could repeat to contradict my findings I would have been willing to try it. However, arguments all seem to be on the basis of finding the one exception and then saying that I must be wrong.
The probability of winning the Euromillions Lottery was 74,000,000 to 1. If I follow the same logic, will these people just find the identify of one winner and now say that I am wrong?
I didn’t want to spent the last few days of my life arguing with these people. Why should I waste my time with people who have the mindset of a Jehovah’s witness. They will stick to their assertion that the “sun goes around the earth” even if you present them with a mountain of evidence which shows them otherwise.
>Finally, it is amazing to me that the people who are most adamant that I am wrong typically tend to be the ones who fit these rules perfectly.
I always remember someone who was fairly angry at my 5ft10 tall, Caucasian/Black and wealth findings. Interestingly, she was dating a 6ft tall Caucasian South African. When I pointed this out her response was…
“Well, he may be 6ft tall and white but that’s the best I’ve ever had… But I did date a short poor black bouncer once, he had nothing going for him”
I asked why… her response was
“I was desperate… and didn’t want to be alone”
You may think of this as a suicide, but for me it is ‘euthanasia’. The etymology, origin of the word, is ‘merciful killing’. I can either continue to live a life of suffering and listening to those around my lie, (intentionally or unintentionally)… or to be merciful and end the suffering. For me logical choice is obvious.
To the ladies out there, I want to be clear, I am not angry at you. You are just doing what you are genetically programmed to do. (If you don’t believe me do your own research, there are many papers out there which agree with my findings). However, what I am angry about is the continual stream of people who are trying to lie to me. That is unacceptable.
I don’t want anyone to be sad for me. Knowing when you are going to die allows you to plan; it allows a freedom which many people never have.
Think about this, how many people work day after day striving for a retirement which never comes, cut short by a heart attack or a road accident?
I have spent the last 10 months of my life visiting to the best venues, trying the best food, drinking the best cocktails and enjoying London to the full. Think of this as my retirement.
To all the bartenders out there, keep on making those awesome cocktails, London is truly one of the best drinks hubs of the world. It’s been fantastic to be in the centre of it all.
To all the restaurateurs and street-food vendors I have met, I salute you. It takes a lot of courage, determination and commitment to open your own business. It has been an honour to have met you all.
Many thanks to all for making the last 10 months of my life more bearable. Thank you all and I wish you all the best.
Peace and love to you all.
“Racial Preferences in Dating”: Review of Economic Studies (2008)
RAYMOND FISMAN and SHEENA S. IYENGAR
Columbia University Graduate School of Business
University of Chicago Graduate School of Business
Graduate School of Business, Stanford University
How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get (2009)/Race and Attraction (2014): OK Cupid
Christian Rudder, Harvard Graduate Mathematics, Founder of OK Cupid, and OK Trends which performs statistical analysis on the OK Cupid Database.
“The takeaway here is that although race shouldn’t matter in messaging, it does. A lot.”
Original Article (2009): How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get
“Has Anything Changed? – In some ways, no. OkCupid users are certainly no more open-minded than they used to be. If anything, racial bias has intensified a bit.”
Follow up Article (2014): Race and Attraction, (2009 – 2014)
Human Growth Horman and the Measure of Man (Dov Fox): The New Atlantis – A Journal of Technology & Society (Fall 2004- Winter 2005)
Retrieved 18-Dec-2011: http://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/human-growth-hormone-and-the-measure-of-man
“Natural selection for height in Europeans”: Discover Magazine (May-2011)
Alleles [genes] known to be associated with greater height also exhibit signatures of natural selection. He used the GIANT consortium data set (129 thousand individuals)
Retrieved: 18-Dec-2011 http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/gnxp/2011/05/natural-selection-for-height-in-europeans/
“Mathematical Modeling of fluctuations in human height: The role of gender equality and equitable mate selection (Quentin J. Mark): Humboldt State University”
Retrieved 18-Dec-2011:Source: http://humboldt-dspace.calstate.edu/xmlui/bitstream/handle/2148/624/ThesisFinal.pdf